


how to tell if you're gay: a study by gob bluth

by stefonzolesky



Category: Arrested Development
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 18:23:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13840419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stefonzolesky/pseuds/stefonzolesky
Summary: Gob almost wants to talk about it. He almost wants to get into it, and maybe figure out what the fuck is going on inside his head. Instead, he tries to place all his focus on his job (and absolutely none of it on the night he spent with Tony.)





	how to tell if you're gay: a study by gob bluth

“This doesn’t make any sense.”

Tony looks up from his comic book.

It’s kinda sweet, that Tony reads. Even if they’re just comics. It means he has the patience to do that, which means he has infinite times more patience than Gob. Tony likes _The Watchmen_ comics; He likes superheroes in general, and he likes to curl up on the couch and read his comics. Gob would tell him that it’s cute if that wasn’t such a gay thing to say.

“Hm?” Tony pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose -- he only wears them in the house, because he’s embarrassed, but Gob thinks they look nice. “What are you talking about?”

“I mean, we’re friends, right?” Gob sits up a little straighter. “But we’ve definitely… we’ve done some things that people don’t do when they’re friends. My brother, Michael, he says that having a friend is like dating someone but without the kissing or the sex.”

“That’s exactly what it is,” Tony agrees. “Why… Does that mean we’re not friends?”

“No, I mean…” Gob pauses, trying to get his thoughts into words. “I was just wondering if it means that we’re gay.”

“I’m not…” Tony presses his lips into a thin line. “I’m not really gay. You know that.”

“No, yeah! Me neither!” Gob is quick to clarify. “I would never want to… be in a relationship with a guy, but y’know… we can’t really know for sure. Right?”

Tony hesitates. “...I guess. Not unless we try it.”

Gob breathes out a sigh of relief, and all the tension leaves his shoulders. “Exactly! That’s… exactly what I was gonna say.” He pauses. “You get me.”

“So…” Tony shuts his comic book. “What are we gonna do about that?”

Gob furrows his eyebrows. “What?”

“The gay thing,” Tony clarifies. “How can we know for sure?”

Gob hesitates and resolves to test the waters a little bit. “We could…” He has to wait for his thoughts to catch up. “We could always try it. Dating, I mean.”

Tony blinks slowly. “Are you serious?”

“I…” Gob shrugs. “I mean, it couldn’t hurt, right?”

“Right,” Tony agrees, biting hard on his lip. “I mean--”

“My parents--” Gob cuts him off. “My parents are having a party. Because my brother just got out of prison. We should… go. As-- as, y’know. Boyfriends.”

“As boyfriends,” Tony repeats. “I’m not gay, but…”

“Oh, yeah, definitely,” Gob agrees. “I mean, I know. But just to make sure.”

Tony hesitates. “Alright.” He agrees reluctantly. “Just to make sure.”

 

Going to the party is weird, because suddenly Gob has all eyes on him, and he _specifically_ chose a party centered around someone else to draw less attention to himself. It’s weird because this is the first time he _hasn’t_ wanted to be the center of attention.

By the time they get there, everyone is already drunk to some degree -- some more than others -- and for some reason, Mark Cherry is there. The whole experience feels like some weird hallucination. Gob grips Tony’s hand tighter.

He finds himself holding Tony’s hand under the table even though he knows that nobody can see. It’s more of a comfort thing than anything else. His stomach drops when he realizes that, and he immediately loses his appetite due to nerves.

Once Tony catches wind of the situation, he leans over to whisper to Gob. “You alright?”

“Hm?” Gob glances over at him. “Yeah, uh… fine. I’m-- I’m alright. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Tony looks worried, or at least, Gob _thinks_ he’s worried -- genuine worry is something that Gob feels like he’s seeing for the first time. “Do you want to step out of the room?”

“I’m fine,” Gob promises him, but he doesn’t really think he’s fine. In a moment of panic or frustration or _something_ , he grabs Tony’s face in his hands and presses their lips together. Something shifts in his gut.

It’s not like they haven’t kissed before. It’s just that this time it’s because Gob doesn’t understand how to sort out his feelings, and Tony is the first thing he thinks will keep his feet on the ground.

Lucille’s glass breaks, and Gob pulls away sharply at the noise, gasping for breath.

He hesitates for a moment, caught up in his own head. Everyone is staring at him. He pushes himself out of the chair and grabs his jacked. “I-- I’m gonna go.”

He leaves, and Tony follows him a few steps behind.

“Hey!” Tony speeds up, turning up at Gob’s side. “What was that all about?”

“I don’t know,” Gob admits. He’s running out of breath. “I panicked. I don’t know. I’m sorry. I just--”

Tony cuts Gob off with another kiss. It would hurt, the way Tony has to yank him down to reach his lips, if the gesture weren’t so sweet. He smiles into the kiss.

Once they break apart, Gob tries to compose himself. “What-- What was that about? What did… What?”

“I don’t know,” Tony admits. “I just… I think I needed that, or you needed that, or--”

“We needed that,” Gob concludes, his breathing heavy. “Yeah. I… Yeah.”

Tony’s face is twisted with confusion, all scrunched up like an angry hamster or something. Gob almost finds it endearing, and --

Before he knows it, he’s catching Tony’s lips in his again and cupping Tony’s cheeks in his hands, and Tony stands on his toes just to reach his lips, and it feels so much better than Gob thinks should.

 

The last thing Gob remembers thinking is, _this might as well happen,_ and then Tony is kissing him from his spot on the counter back at his house, the angle making everything work so much smoother, and Gob doesn’t really know where all of this came from, but kissing Tony is too good of an opportunity to pass up.

They sort of migrate through the house, drawing away from each other for minutes at a time as they both skirt around the idea that this is exactly what they want, and the night ends with them fucking on the couch and then falling asleep watching _Saturday Night Live_. Overall, Gob considers it a success.

 

He wakes up the next morning with a headache and Tony still asleep in the crook of his arm, and he gets up as soon as yesterday’s events come back to him. He knows that Tony sleeps late, and he has time, so he paces the house for half an hour and then writes Tony a note telling him that he’s gone to work.

After being fired from the Bluth company and working his way up from a low point, Gob had landed himself a job with Steve Holt (despite how mad Steve was at him for bailing.) It wasn’t ideal, but he figured that maybe, if he handled himself a little better and had a steady job, he might not die alone.

“You alright, Dad?” Steve watches him from where he’s sitting, sipping on a cup of coffee.

Gob shrugs. “Fine. It’s not important. I’m-- it’s fine.” He starts to head to the back, but stops in his tracks, and turns to face his son. “I think I might be gay.”

Steve blinks slowly. “What? Really?”

“Yeah.” Gob laughs and runs a hand through his hair. “Man, that feels weird to say. Yeah. I think I’m gay.”

Steve laughs, far more enthusiastic than Gob. “Dad!” He grins. “That’s so cool!” He pauses. “Does that mean I’m gonna have another dad?”

Gob bites down hard on his lip. “Now, I’m not so sure about that part. The guy I've been… involved with, I don't think he's really up for anything serious.”

Steve Holt makes a sort of ‘huh’ noise and goes back to reading the newspaper.

Gob almost wants to talk about it. He almost wants to get into it, and maybe figure out what the fuck is going on inside his head. Instead, he tries to place all his focus on his job (and absolutely none of it on the night he spent with Tony.)

Much to his disappointment -- or at least, Gob tells himself he’s disappointed -- Tony calls him at work.

“What do you want?” Gob says, holding his phone between his ear and his shoulder while he focuses on squashing an ant that ended up on his desk.

Tony hesitates on the other line. “Why did you leave so fast?”

Gob swallows hard, trying to push down his brimming panic. “I don’t know,” He says. “I had to get to work,” He says. “I was scared,” He says.

“What?” Tony coughs into the receiver. “Sorry. Which one was it?”

“All three,” Gob admits.

There’s a silence. Gob considers hanging up, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to back out this time, he wants to see this through to the end. And he’s scared -- more scared than he’s ever been -- but maybe being scared is worth it.

“And you dealt with that by leaving?” Tony laughs. “Coward.”

“What?” Gob’s mouth feels dry.

“I called you a coward,” Tony explains. “Come over after work, I’ll… we can figure this out.”

Gob hesitates before he agrees. “Okay,” He says. “I’ll see you then.”

The line goes dead.

 

It isn’t a lie. Gob, as scared as he is, _does_ visit Tony after work. He’s kind of dirty and for some reason he feels like he’s being haunted by the ghost of about twenty ants, but a shower can wait.

Tony kisses him before he’s even through the door, and Gob is… completely into that. He’s never been great at talking about his feelings, anyway.

Admittedly, everything does feel a little bit off, and it’s not the kissing. It’s something in the air, it’s the way touches feel different between the two of them -- desperate, constantly asking “is this okay?”

They both know it’s okay. They both know it’s more than okay.


End file.
